Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Kindness of Strangers


When the first thought of running popped into my head, I immediately dismissed the thought. I knew that I would be laughed at and ridiculed. After all, isn't that what happened all through school? (Wow - Let's put a pin in this for later!)

As that seed germinated in my head, I found many of my friends and neighbors were already runners. These were people I very much trust. When I quietly mentioned that I was thinking of running, I felt overwhelming support, so I joined my run camp and started running. Going to camp each week, meeting with my team, has brought such joy to the whole endeavor. I expect to be encouraged and respected for what I do when I am there.

Now I take mid-week runs along a popular running path near my house. Living in a college town, I see lots of twenty-somethings flying along my path and I don't really expect those same warm-fuzzies from the students. When I cross paths with (more like, get passed by) female runners, I get a smile or a nod. What really made my day yesterday was when I crossed paths with some young men. They both smiled and nodded and gave me a thumbs up. It felt really good to get that validation.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Goals for the week of February 24-March 2

  • 6 workouts
    • 3 runs
    • 3 cross training
  • weights
  • eat well and on plan
  • get Maggie excited to exercise with me
  • get the damn house cleaned
  • do some laundry

Monday, February 25, 2013

I feel AMAZING!

What an amazing run! I am feeling better and went to run camp and just had an incredible run.

The plan was for half of the group to run 5 and walk 1 and the other half to run 2 and walk 1. I started with the 2/1-ers and planned to stick with them. I had my headphones on listening to Not Blood, Paint and couldn't hear Karen's prompts to run or walk so I just went with my C25K app. Next thing I know, I don't see any of the blue group in front of me. I turned around to find everyone from my group behind me. I didn't know what to do but everyone shouted out, "Keep going!"

I kept going at my pace and felt really great. I pushed my self but didn't exhaust myself. I really felt amazing. I ran/walked a little over 2 miles in a little over 30 minutes.

I have to say, I get it now. I know why people are so passionate about running.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

So I did this thing

Last night I broke a 15 month streak. I had a full-on panic attack. I went to my run camp orientation and the waiting freaked me right out. I left in a good place, though. Their goals for all of us align with what I want and I'll make some new friends to boot.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Messes with My Mind!

Anyone else an Pinterest-a-holic? I find myself feeling the pull. I actually unfollowed most of the people I was following because I was getting sick of seeing the same recipes and diy stuff that aren't really my bag so I find myself looking at the "Everything" tab.

Before I go on, I need to say that fashion mags have never been and still aren't really my thing.  And I guess I have been in my own little burrow feeling outraged at the "Media" and their promotion of poor body image, etc. without actually viewing it. Because I wasn't looking at Vogue or Elle or... , having the airbrushed models in my eyeballs, I didn't get the damage it can cause having those unrealistic expectations in your eyeballs and into your brain.

Until I started Pinteresting. All the "Thinspirition" photos of skinny girls talking about how great it is to be skinny. I look and feel jealous! I can't even explain it. I haven't ever really felt thin or loved the body I'm in but now I'm green with envy. I want to look like these girls. At any cost. It's completely crazy! I don't even get it. While I'm not entirely in love with my body, I'm relatively confidant about myself most days. Especially when I love my outfit. I can see how young people can't filter out the messages and resort to eating disorders. I'm a "grown-up" and I can hardly do it. I'm trying to process it and spin it positively but, while I am doing healthy things, I am more filled with self-hate than I ever have been.

My greatest efforts have been to keep things positive in my life and to embrace whatever comes my way. I'll continue to waste time on Pintrest ('cause that's how I roll) only I'll filter what I look at better while at the same time seeking out positive stuff.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

What have I done?

I signed up for a run camp. I can't even run for 3 minutes straight. I am going to make an ass out of myself.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Step by Step

I am tying to journal and this is the place to do it! I just don't really think I have done anything worth writing about. My mind is always churning thinking of self-helpy things; Of goals to make and achieve. And when I am in a position to put it down, I don't' have anything to say. So, boring.

I really want to get fit and run a 5k. It is always in my thoughts but I'm afraid to be embarrassed by actually running. In public. Where my neighbors can see me. Which is so silly since I have awesome neighbors who would be nothing but supportive of me. I also know that running isn't the only thing do do to get fit. I have DVDs, there are exercise videos on Netflix and on Sparkpeople. I just need to do it! One step at a time.