Tuesday, August 2, 2016

My Big Why

Look how cute I am.
This post has been sitting here, unpublished, for years. It was full of self-hate in the disguise of "backstory". Forget that. DELETE. It's time for moving forward. Shit happens (and happened) and I have only myself and my future to own.

I wake up every day in my body and with my mind. I start my day with no confidence from the first few moments and I’m sick and tired of it! I don’t want my daughter growing up having poor fitness and eating habits modeled after me or my son's continued embarrassment of me. And hell, I want to be able to see them get married – and not only have energy for them, but pfor my (far in the future) grandkids too!

I'm fat but feel pretty awesome about myself even though I don't....
From May 4, 2014, the day of my first 10k:

DAY-UM! Look at these legs!
These legs just ran 6 miles. In a row!

What an amazing race. At times, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do it. Mile five was a killer. My thighs were shouting at me for a sandwich. My magic beans got me through. Kalamazoo's running community is amazing. The last three miles for the marathon, half marathon, and 10k were all the same route. That was also where the first of the half-ers started passing me. Almost all of them had genuine words of encouragement as the passed me by. It's such a simple thing that meant so much to me as I was struggling along. I finished at exactly the time I thought I would, thanks to these few simple words. My family waited for me at the finish line. I had the best beer of my life at 11 a.m.

As I continue my journey as a runner, I'm so excited about what my legs can do. They have moved me around for over 43 years. They carried me around playgrounds and neighborhoods. They walked me to classes and through graduations. They walked me down the aisle to marry my best friend. They have helped me carry two babies. Now they carry me on my journey to fitness.

Didn't your mama tell U life was 2 good 2 waste?

I spent my early teen years like most do, listening to Top 40 Radio. songs from 1999 were played, I liked.

When I was 13, Purple Rain came out. My friend Tammy and I snuck into see it. (It was NAUGHTY, y'all!) I had a boom box in the bathroom and listened to the cassette every morning. I had to turn the volume way down when Darling Nikki came on. It was NAUGHTY, too.

I had the advantage of having a cool older sister who was up on all the cool stuff she had Prince's older stuff on vinyl so that's how I first heard For You, Prince, Dirty Mind, Controversy

Senior year in high school, I played It from Sign O' the Times over and over while programming my final project in BASIC. I'd get to the end of the song and hit rewind on my walkman in the computer lab.

In college, I got my hands on a bootleg copy of The Black Album. Not sure if I actually listened to it more than once or twice. But I had it!

For my 20th birthday, Steph took me to see Graffiti Bridge and gifted me with a bottle of Everclear. Now, that was a birthday!

That's when I became a Bad Prince Fan. The music wasn't my style. The songs on Come felt too personal, like I was reading his diary behind his back. I know he was stuck in a contract that he wanted out of.

For every time in my life there is a Prince record to go along.

Now it's time to purify myself in the waters or Lake Minnetonka.